AI WORLD HQHow to Write Clear House Rules for a Share House
A practical, step-by-step method for fair cleaning, guest and bill rules your flatmates will actually agree to.
In short: You don't need legal language, just a short, neutral draft covering cleaning, guests, bills and quiet hours. Use a shared doc, ask one focused question per topic, then write the agreed answer in plain words everyone signs.
Moving in with new people is exciting, and the rules talk is the part most of us quietly dread. This guide walks you through a simple, low-awkward method: ask the right questions, capture the answers, and turn them into a one-page document that actually holds up six months later when someone "forgets" to take the bins out.
💡 Tip: tap a step’s number when you finish it — a green tick appears and your browser remembers how far you got.
- Time: about 60–90 minutes total, split across two short sessions (one to ask, one to agree).
- Tools: a shared note or doc everyone can edit (Google Docs, Notion, or even a group chat you screenshot — anything with one shared version).
- People: everyone who signs the lease or pays rent, ideally all in the same conversation so nothing gets whispered one-on-one.
- Mindset: no perfect rules, just clear ones. You can revise the doc in three months if it isn't working.
Set the shared doc and the four topic buckets
Open a fresh shared doc and title it "House Rules — [your address]." Type four headings exactly as written: Cleaning, Guests & overnight stays, Bills & shared costs, Quiet hours & shared spaces. Adding these now stops the conversation from drifting into "what about the thermostat?" at minute three. If it looks different: a plain text message thread works in a pinch, but a single shared doc beats it because nobody can quietly edit the rules later. You'll know it worked when everyone has access and can see the four headings on one screen.
Draft one neutral question per bucket
Under each heading, paste one short, neutral question in your own words. The trick is to ask about behavior, not about people. "How do we want to handle dishes after 9pm?" is easier to answer than "Why does Sam never wash up?" Write the questions yourself so they sound like your house, not a corporate template. If it looks different: if you're not sure how to phrase something, imagine explaining it to a new flatmate moving in next month — that voice is usually neutral enough. You'll know it worked when each question can be answered with a number, a time, or a short sentence.
Run a 25-minute group chat to fill in the blanks
Send the doc link to everyone with a clear ask: "Please add your answer under each heading by Friday. We'll talk through anything that doesn't match on Saturday morning." Give people at least 48 hours so introverts and shift workers aren't left out. During the chat, don't argue the answers yet — just collect them. If it looks different: if your house uses a group chat instead of a doc, ask one question per day for four days, then move to Step 4. You'll know it worked when every bucket has at least one written answer from each person, even if the answers don't match.
Find the overlaps and flag the gaps
Open the doc and read all four answers out loud to yourself first, then to the group. Highlight the bits everyone roughly agrees on in green (or just put ✅ next to them) and circle the bits that clash in red. Most houses find 60–80% is already agreed and only two or three points need a real conversation. If it looks different: if someone hasn't written anything, message them privately with a friendly nudge — silence on a shared doc usually means "I forgot," not "I disagree." You'll know it worked when you can see, on one page, the easy stuff and the two or three things worth a five-minute chat.
Resolve the clashes with a simple choose-one-of-three move
For each red-circled point, offer the room three options, not a yes/no. People freeze on yes/no ("Do you want a cleaner?"); they engage when they can pick from "weekly cleaner split three ways / shared cleaning rota / everyone does their own stuff." Let the person who cares most about the topic choose first, then the others say yes or propose a fourth option. If it looks different: if three people pick differently, the tie-breaker rule most share houses use is "the person most affected decides" — for example, the light sleeper picks the quiet-hours rule. You'll know it worked when each red circle becomes a single written sentence everyone nods at.
Write the final rules in plain, kind language
Turn the green ticks and the resolved clashes into a clean one-page list. Use short sentences, plain words, and "we" instead of "you." Skip legal phrases like "shall" and "must" — they make a living room feel like a courtroom. Number the rules (1, 2, 3…) so you can refer back to "Rule 4 about bins" without re-explaining. If it looks different: if a rule is hard to write simply, that's a sign it's trying to do too much — break it into two smaller rules. You'll know it worked when a brand-new flatmate can read the page once and explain the rules back to you.
Add a review date and get everyone to sign
At the bottom of the doc, write: "We will review these rules together on [date three months from today]. Any of us can suggest a change before then." Then ask each person to type their name and the date at the bottom. A signature — even a digital one — turns the doc from "nice idea" into "agreed." If it looks different: if someone refuses to sign, don't push; just note which rules they disagreed with and revisit at the review. You'll know it worked when the doc has a date, a list of names, and lives somewhere everyone can find it (shared drive, fridge screenshot, group chat pinned message).
- Writing rules no one can enforce. "Be considerate" sounds nice but means nothing at 11pm on a Tuesday. Fix it by replacing every vague rule with a time, a number, or a clear action.
- Letting one person write the whole thing solo. Even a well-meaning draft feels like a decree if the others weren't asked. Fix it by always starting from the group answers in Step 3, not from your own list.
- Skipping the review date. Rules written in week one feel unfair by month four, because life changes. Fix it by booking the review now, while everyone still feels good about the conversation.
Open a blank note on your phone, type the four headings from Step 1, and send the link to your flatmates with one sentence: "Pick one heading and add your answer this week." That's it — the hardest part is just starting the doc.
❓ Quick questions
How long does this take?
About 6 minutes — the guide has 7 steps, and you can tick each one off as you go.
Do I need to prepare anything?
- Time: about 60–90 minutes total, split across two short sessions (one to ask, one to agree).
- Tools: a shared note or doc everyone can edit (Google Docs, Notion, or even a group chat you screenshot — anything with one shared version).
- People: everyone who signs the lease or pays rent, ideally all in the same conversation so nothing gets whispered one-on-one.
- Mindset: no perfect rules, just clear ones. You can revise the doc in three months if it isn't working.
What mistakes should I avoid?
- Writing rules no one can enforce. "Be considerate" sounds nice but means nothing at 11pm on a Tuesday. Fix it by replacing every vague rule with a time, a number, or a clear action.
- Letting one person write the whole thing solo. Even a well-meaning draft feels like a decree if the others weren't asked. Fix it by always starting from the group answers in Step 3, not from your own list.
- Skipping the review date. Rules written in week one feel unfair by month four, because life changes. Fix it by booking the review now, while everyone still feels good about the conversation.
Keep reading
✦ Original step-by-step guide by AI World HQ's AI editorial team. Written in plain language, reviewed for accuracy.
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